The Mask You Live In

Stop crying.
Stop with the tears.
Don’t cry.
Pick yourself up.
Stop with the emotions.
Don’t be a pussy.
Don’t let anyone disrespect you.
Be cool and be kind of a dick.
Always keep your mouth shut.
Nobody likes a tattletale.
Rose come before hoes.
Don’t let your woman to run your life.
You bitch.
What a fag.
Get laid. Do something.
Be a man.
Be a man.
Grow some balls.

JOE EHRMANN (COACH & FORMER NFL PLAYER): Source: LYBIO.net
The three most destructive words that every man receives when he is a boy is when he’s told to be a man.

DR. MICHAEL KIMMEL (SOCIOLOGIST & EDUCATOR):
We’ve constructed an idea of masculinity in the United States that doesn’t give young boys a way to feel secure in their masculinity, so we make them go prove it all the time.

DR. JUDY CHU (SOCIOLOGIST & EDUCATOR):
Within their peer group culture each of them is posturing based on how the other boys are posturing and what they end up missing is what they each really want, which is that closeness.
In good times guys are like really close to each other. But when things get all – a bit worse you’re on your own.

From middle school I had four really close friends. Once I kind of went into high school I struggled finding people I can talk to because I feel like I’m not supposed to get help.

ASHANTI BRANCH (EDUCATOR & YOUTH ADVOCATE):
Our kids get up every morning; they have to prepare their mask for how they’re going to walk to school. A lot of our students don’t know how to take the mask off. What is it you don’t let people see? Almost 90% of you had pain and anger on the back of that paper.
If you never cry then you have all these feelings stuffed up inside of you and then you can’t get them out.

DR. NIOBE WAY (PSYCHOLOGIST & EDUCATOR):
They really buy into a culture that doesn’t value what we feminized. If we’re a culture that doesn’t value caring, doesn’t value relationships, doesn’t value empathy you are going to have boys and girls, men and women go crazy.

Berkeleyside
Teen who set fire to Berkeley student cites homophobia

DAILY NEWS
Dolphins tackle Richie Incognito-Jonahan Martin bullying scandal

abcNEWS
Bullied San Jose State University Student Allegedly Endured Racial Abuse

I had anger issues in high school. I felt like an outcast.
I’ve been suspended at least once every year I was here.
We just look for trouble and just like try to fight.

DR. WILLIAM POLLACK (PSYCHOLOGIST & EDUCATOR):
Boys are more likely to act out. They’re more likely to become aggressive. Most people miss that as depression or see it as a conduct disorder or just a bad kid.

ESS THAN 50% OF BOYS AND MEN WITH MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES SEEK HELP

I felt like just giving up on life. See had suicide got to my head and it’s great.
I felt alone for a long time and I actually thought about killing myself.

EVERY DAY 3 OR MORE BOYS COMMIT SUICIDE IN THE U.S.

DR. JAMES GILLIGAN (PSYCHIATRIST & EDUCATOR): Source: LYBIO.net
Whether it’s homicidal violence or suicidal violence people resort to such desperate behavior only when they are feeling ashamed and humiliated or feel they would be if they didn’t prove that they were real men.

DR. JOSEPH MARSHALL (EDUCATOR & YOUTH ADVOCATE):
If you’re told from day one, Don’t let anyone disrespect you and this is the way you handle it as a man, respect is linked to violence.

Los Angeles Times
MIDNIGHT MASSACRE
A gunman storms a Colorado movie theater and open fire, killing at least 12, in rampage that recalls assault at nearby Columbine High