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The Best Leaders Are Vulnerable

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We all know leaders who are filled with the kind of bravado that takes great pains to hide any hint of misgiving. No matter what happens, they “knew it all along.” At the very essence of their strategy is the fierce belief that showing even the slightest hint of vulnerability would cause their teams to see them as “weak.” They couldn’t be more mistaken. In reality, vulnerability is a strength. Every leader has vulnerability. The greatest leaders have the self-awareness to recognize this fact. They also recognize that showing their vulnerability is a sign of courage and strength.

Courage is the sixth Non-Negotiable that I cover in my book The 7 Non-Negotiables of Winning.

Vulnerability is not a weakness.  I was impressed by the recent thoughts of business writer Kimberly Weisul, who discussed a presentation on vulnerability by author and researcher Brene Brown. At a Leadership Forum for Inc. Magazine, Brown turned the popular notions of vulnerability on their head. She says vulnerability is actually the courage to show up and be seen. I agree.

“Vulnerability is the absolute heartbeat of innovation and creativity,” she says. “There can be zero innovation without vulnerability.”

How does vulnerability work? According to Brown, here are the four common myths of vulnerability and how to combat them.

Myth #1: Vulnerability is Weakness.

In her research, Brown asked thousands of people to talk about times they felt vulnerable. They provided answers like, “Starting my own business; the first date after my divorce; taking my company public.” Other answers included, “Owning something I’ve done wrong at work” (a big one, as you know from my prior columns) or “Cheering my son on because he wants to make first chair in the orchestra and I know that it’s unlikely to happen.”

Brown realized that none of these situations had anything to do with weakness. In fact, she points out that vulnerability is not a weakness at all. It is, perhaps, one of our most accurate measures of courage.

Every entrepreneurial endeavor, by its very definition, is courageous and risky. For example, in my book I share the full experience of heading up the buyback of our company, Fishbowl, in 2010. Rarely in my life have I been in such a vulnerable position. Although we’d always run our company in a very cash conservative way, the need of our majority investor to divest himself left us in the most vulnerable place of our lives. Banks were not lending at the time.

Against all odds, we received an agreement for the only enterprise loan our regional bank offered in 2010. But at the last minute, we discovered the final approval was $500,000 short of our goal. I spoke to my executive team openly about the situation we were facing. I was humbled, and the discussion even involved tears (my own, and many from these longtime friends and esteemed partners as well). It took courage beyond measure for us to have that discussion – but we emerged together from that situation with increased strength. In fact, that month was our highest revenue month in the company’s history to that date.

We’ve continued to grow since, and now there are a total of 71 Fishbowl owners among our team of 100 employees. Admitting and facing my vulnerability and even helplessness in that situation took all the courage I could muster, but it has made me and my team stronger in ways few other experiences could have ever achieved.

Myth #2: You Can Opt Out of Vulnerability.

According to Brown, vulnerability is the combination of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Welcome to entrepreneurship. Vulnerability is a natural condition of the work that we do—it isn’t a choice but a consequence. To declare oneself “not vulnerable” would be inauthentic and would leave a leader living in a perpetual state of denial and stress. So it’s better and more courageous for every leader to acknowledge the fact that vulnerability is there.

Myth #3: Vulnerability Means Letting It All Hang Out.

Live tweeting about personal details to the point of bad taste is not “vulnerability.” Nor is it an act of courage. Purposeful vulnerability without boundaries is attention-seeking behavior that actually appears to others as desperate. What is your goal in sharing information that leaves you vulnerable? Is it to get attention or is it to solve a problem?

Also, as Brown points out, it is best to share the candid information that leaves you vulnerable only with people who have earned the right to hear and know this sensitive news. For example, we share our financial goals openly within our company with all employees. But we trust our employees to hold sensitive company information in confidence. And we don’t publish that information in locations such as our company blog. (I actually know of some executives who do this, and it certainly takes courage for them to do so. But I, for one, would advise sharing such sensitive and vital information with the members of your team who are striving to find the solution with you, and who are earning, day by day, the right to hold this information with you.)

Brown notes that you wouldn’t go out to the world openly and announce, “Our company is going to Hades in a hand basket right now and I don’t know what to do.” But you might elect to be very candid within a small group of trusted associates and friends.

Myth #4: I Can Go It Alone.

None of us, in recognizing our vulnerability, should pretend we are able to “go it alone.” When we ask others “Can you help me with this? What are your thoughts on this issue? Are you willing to work on this together with me?” we are expressing our vulnerabilities in a courageous and positive way.

Vulnerability is a frightening thing for many of us. But knowing that vulnerability is a universal condition, and that recognizing and owning our vulnerability is a form of true courage – here’s a thought that’s even more frightening: What would it be like to reach the end of your life and to wonder what would have happened if you’d truly shown up, ready to give your all and, if necessary, sacrifice all. What if?

These are the reasons that vulnerability – and Courage, used within a principles-based setting – is such a vital and non-negotiable trait for us all. In your business and life, what makes you most vulnerable? And what are the ways you address it? I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Amazon has named David Williams’ book, The 7 Non-Negotiables of Winning, one of its Top 10 Business Books for July. Additional reporting for this article was provided by Fishbowl President Mary Michelle ScottAuthor: David K. Williams Google+ #7NNs